At 16 years old if you asked me what I thought I’d be doing for a career the rest of my life my honest to God answer would have been “Professional PC Gaming”.
That’s a story for a different time, but needless to say High School was nothing like the movies for me.
There were no “Project-X” parties for me, instead I went to LAN parties.
I was victim to something that is literally the dating plague – social awkwardness.
Yesterday I wrote about how improving your appearance is a quick and easy way to increase success with women.
Well, even worse than being ugly is being socially awkward, and if you’re ugly and socially awkward I feel really bad for you.
You can literally be the best-looking guy in the place, but if you’re socially awkward and not in tune with the social norms, you’ll end up doing and saying some really cringeworthy things.
I want to pre-face the following content by saying: this write-up is not meant to be a magic-bullet for getting laid. It’s more of a primer on being social. These are simply steps you can take towards being the type of person who can easily start a conversation with anyone, and trust me… in the long run that is one of the most powerful tools you can have on your side when it comes to dating.
If you’re already social and experiencing dating success I urge you to add to the conversation and offer more tips that I can incorporate into the post rather than bashing it. There is a certain type of demographic that gravitates towards Game/Pick-Up. For every guy that is a natural at this stuff there are a handful of guys who have a really hard time being in a social setting, let alone having the guts to approach a strange girl and ask for her number.
7 Steps To Curing Social Awkardness:
1. The only way to learn social norms is to be in social settings and around people who generally very social and like-able.
If you’ve got an older brother, a cousin, a co-worker who goes out a lot do whatever you need to do start hanging out with him. Especially if he’s good with women. After all, they say you are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with most. If you begin surrounding yourself with people who are social, who know how to start and carry conversations effortlessly it will begin rub off on you.
2. Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone and Become a “Yes Man”.
When coworkers, friends or family members ask you to go do something. Make it a point to start saying “Yes.” You need to start stepping out of your comfort zone. Part of being socially awkward is experiencing anxiety in social situations. You need to exercise your social muscles just like you would any other muscle in order to make it stronger. The more you take people up on their offers that will put you outside of your comfort zone, the more those places will stop being outside of your comfort zone.
3. Smile at everyone and be friendly
In my experience starting the conversation was the toughest part of being in a social interaction. I didn’t know what to say, I wasn’t sure how someone would reply if I did chat them up. If you smile as soon as you walk in the room and appear to be friendly and approachable, more people are going to do the hard part (starting the conversation)
4. Make eye contact with everyone
For the same reasons as #3, strong natural eye contact is a learn-able skill. Start by focusing on one eye at a time.
5. Practice starting conversations with people.
It doesn’t matter who it is or where it’s at, even walking up to a stranger and asking for directions helps to exercise your social muscles. Ask the waitress what the specials are, ask her what her favorite thing on the menu is, ask the girl at the clothing store what she really thinks about skinny jeans. It doesn’t matter.
6. Remember people and do them small favors.
One of the most flattering things in the world is being remembered. Maybe you go to the same lunch spot twice a week. Try to remember the workers names and call them by it when you greet them. Maybe the girl who works as a cashier mentioned looking for a new car. Say something like “Hey, I thought about you the other day. I heard the dealership down the road has a special offer on leases. My sister’s husband is actually an employee and might be able to get you a discount… just throwing it out there”.
Notice this kind of favor doesn’t take any skin off your back, it doesn’t cost you time or money, it’s a quick and simple way to show you that remember someone and have their best interest at heart.
7. Be interested in other people
Most people love to talk about themselves and the things they love, which is good for you, because if you can just be interested in something that someone else is passionate about, you don’t even need to do much talking. Just show a genuine interest and ask them questions about their hobby. Ask them how long they’ve been doing it, how they got started, is it something they want to make a career out of , is that how they met their spouse?
Do you want to know Exactly What To Do and Say to Approach Any Girl Without Fear? Click here to get exclusive videos, articles, and more. This is step-by-step how to approach a girl, and exactly what to say to get and keep her interested.